Paying A Price
by gawilliams
Summary: Booth answers Hodgins question about how many he had killed.


_I just watched the latest episode and this one came to me at the end. I hope that you like this one. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth looked up when the person he was waiting for came into the private room in the back of the Founding Fathers. He had arranged this meeting to be here so that he could say a few things very much under the radar. Standing, he offered his hand to the man in front of him.

"Thanks for coming," he said and gestured to the seat.

Jack Hodgins sat down and looked at Booth curiously. He was friends with the man. Damn good friends, but they were hardly the type of friends to meet at a bar mano e mano for a beer. He took a pull at the beer in front of him, enjoying the cold beverage. Sitting it down he saw Booth pulling a thick file out of a heavy looking protective case.

"What's this all about?" he asked.

Booth took a deep breath before answering. He'd thought long and hard about this over the last 48 hours, but in the end decided that this was something that needed to be done. He slid the file towards Hodgins.

"You asked me a question the other day," Booth replied. He nodded at the folder. "There's your answer."

Hodgins was confused for a minute, and then realized what Booth was saying. "Hey, Man, when I asked that, and said what I said, I was angry," he lightly protested. "You don't have to do this."

Jack would be lying if he said he wasn't curious, but at the same time he was well aware of how private Booth was about his past when it came to that aspect of it. Booth was one of the best friends he'd ever had and the last thing he wanted to do was cause a problem between them.

"I know, Hodgins," Booth told him.

"Then why?"

"When a sniper pulls the trigger he pays a price," Booth explained. "I don't care who you are, you pay a price. For some that may be a desensitizing of the mind about death. Others get some sort of God complex and go after those who escape justice like Broadsky. For me? Every pull of the trigger I lost a small part of my soul. The only consolation I had was that someone in a position of authority had sanctioned it. You wonder how come I don't talk about it much, at least the declassified parts. Well, I spent a lot of time in confession and Gambler's Anonymous meetings to get where I can live with that consolation. But you did something that has earned you a look at that file, and maybe you'll understand why I make damn sure it all stays within the system."

"But I didn't do anything like this," Hodgins said a bit cautiously.

"No, you did what I wish I had the guts to do," Booth told him. "You let your entire fortune go down the tubes in order to save a group of kids from dying. I've never even let Bones see that classified file, Hodgins. You paid a big price for your actions, and those actions were what the best of us in this world try to emulate. You earned an answer, and I'm giving it to you. Maybe being a part of what you did will help me in my own mind make up for what I did on my last mission as a military sniper."

"What mission?" Hodgins asked, now very interested.

"You've got two hours, Hodgins," Both told him, clearly uncomfortable talking about that mission.

Hodgins opened the file and began reading. The first thing he noticed was the listing of decorations that Booth had that were classified, and thus not seen on any ribbon rack or medal set on his uniform. There were quite a few. Then he noted the dates of the missions and the summaries. He could recognize a number of the people that Booth had taken out, but many he didn't. He selected a few to read, including the last one, knowing he didn't have the time to read them all.

Booth didn't seem to be all there during the time that Hodgins was reading the file. In truth, he was letting his mind think back on those missions and how much he owed the entire Squint Squad, but especially Bones, for the emotional healing that he had achieved in the last eight years. It was a psychological fatigue that had settled over him at the thought of the potential Pandora's Box Hodgins had inadvertently opened into his soul with his question. There was no doubt in his mind that he would be back in confession the next day seeking some form of absolution for dragging those souls back into the harsh light of someone's possible condemnation. He also wondered what Hodgins would possibly think of him now that he would know some of the things Booth had done in his military career. He saw Hodgins stiffen and knew that the man had reached the last mission and had discovered something that he had only ever told Bones about, outside of the military.

"I...uh...I don't know what to say," Hodgins finally said, closing the file and sliding it back to Booth. He watched as Booth put the file back in the case.

"I love my son, Hodgins, more than anyone could possibly know, but every birthday he has I have to plaster on a smile and hope to God I don't see that kids face in my mind when I'm looking at Parker on his special day," Both said quietly. "And I pray he never finds out that I killed someone's Father using the son's birthday balloons to figure wind adjustment and direction. I also pray that I won't have to go through the same Hell when I celebrate Christine's birthdays, but I just don't know yet."

"I won't ever ask you to kill someone outside the system ever again, even Pelant," Hodgins promised, hoping that that assurance would somehow make amends for the demons he had no doubt let loose in Booth's mind.

"I can kill, Hodgins, even Pelant, but the only way I know how to stay sane is to have that fleeting assurance that someone has said that it's okay," Booth replied. "The only exceptions I will make are when it comes to a direct defense of my family and friends. Direct, Hodgins, not just a reaction in the aftermath, like when you asked me to the other day."

"Don't I have to sign some sort of nondisclosure agreement for seeing that file?" Hodgins questioned when Booth stood up.

"No," Booth told him. "This file never left the Pentagon. You never read it. I know you love conspiracy theory, Hodgins, but don't make this out to be one. I called in most of my markers to do this. Think about that when you go home and see your wife and son. You lost your money, Jack, in doing the right thing. Be grateful you didn't lose a piece of your soul."

Hodgins watched as Booth walked out of the room, noting the slightly haunted look in the mans eyes. He knew he would never again take Booth's friendship for granted, and he would most definitely look at those in the military with a lot more respect than he had in the past. He also knew that whatever price he had paid in saving those kids at the expense of his families monetary security was nothing compared to what Booth had paid in serving his country. Standing up, he walked out the door feeling better than he had coming in. Now he was sure that Pelant was going to pay the biggest price of all. The man had woken the sleeping giant in the form of Seeley Booth, and Hodgins was going to back up his friend to he absolute limits of his capabilities.

_A/N: Just a conversation that I felt was needed. Jack was crazed during the episode, and rightly so, and I felt that such a conversation with Booth would be one of the only things to bring him out of his fugue. I hope you all enjoyed it. Gregg._


End file.
